[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.6s] Arvid yeah, this reminds me of that one time that you and I
[36.4s] You know back in
[38.6s] Bartholomew. Oh, you've been to Bartholomew. We have a package for that too. Gnolls begin to pour out of the tunnel now
[47.1s] Lead the way the mysteries of the universe will have to wait from now
[50.4s] We need to go come bring it with you. Just just bring it with you. Japes and
[54.9s] Perseus are not part of this group though. They got torn away from the from the
[60.0s] Mass of you. If we're going to get them, we've got to go fast
[64.2s] Remind me next time we see him to put a boot up Uzumaki's ass. Who's Uzumaki? Oh, don't worry, dear. Well
[71.9s] Well, Margaret did we should do we help help?
[76.5s] help
[78.0s] the
[79.4s] Kobold I could
[82.3s] Go on. I could. You could what? As this
[86.9s] Explosion happens behind them shooting this main
[89.8s] Mass of all of these gnolls off into the side giving you just the briefest moment to bolt through them
[102.1s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He him also with me today is
[108.0s] Carla maxed it she her I will be playing Lex they them and Amy more
[114.4s] Yeah, she her and I will be playing
[118.3s] Flanks he him and Tom Laird. Yeah, that's me. He him. I will be playing
[123.4s] Perseus who's a he him also joining us today the lovely and talented rev to shame
[128.6s] Hey, he him and I'm playing Margaret broad cloak. She her class. It's here. Yo, yo
[135.3s] He him and I will be playing flanks. No, I'm not playing flanks. No, I'm flanks. Who are you playing?
[142.0s] I don't even know anymore like james james prot spin. I just to give him a last name this time around
[149.4s] Okay. Yeah. Well, I got to write down all of this information. Did you write down flanks last name?
[153.8s] What was flanks last name lake?
[163.9s] And I may be I'm pretty sure I'm also gonna be playing Vorunax this episode shut your face he's dead
[170.8s] Yeah, he is. Never mind that james is the new bad guy. We just haven't gotten there yet story art
[176.6s] We've got a couple more time jumps to go through for that one. That's right younger james. Well, we'll see what happens with james prot spin
[185.0s] You can listen to the downtime that we did for the last episode which a spoiler alert
[191.1s] Because we didn't accomplish anything
[193.1s] Of great importance
[197.4s] There wasn't a lot to talk about but we still had fun diving into what happened between
[205.1s] Last episode and where we're gonna pick up in this episode. There's
[209.5s] So go check it out Patreon.com slash dump dragon cast where when you're a patron you will also have an episode dedicated
[215.4s] To you like today's patron
[217.8s] Lawrence Welsh jr
[223.1s] Just gonna say our fanciest listener maybe are you royalty when you're a Patreon member of Dumbgeons and Dragons you're absolutely royalty
[232.8s] See this is why we keep inviting Kyle back
[236.8s] Say you're like the very talented and also other great things rev and Kyle's here
[242.8s] I
[247.4s] Noticed it was very distinct. It was Kyle. You're here. No, I understand look and
[253.4s] Look, I read hopefully make you feel good every day
[256.2s] I read the script as commas the lovely and talented rev to Shane and Kyle class. It's here
[261.5s] No
[272.1s] Me just showed up
[274.5s] Com slash dumb dragon cast. Please join us over there Kyle's there, too
[280.0s] See if you can find me
[283.1s] Fuck it. Let's play
[292.1s] We join the group being led by Japs and flanks as Japs has gone into a
[299.9s] a tour guide mode
[303.1s] I was gonna say about of dementia as they have evaded the pack of gnolls that was
[309.4s] Chasing them deeper into the underdark. You see and that's stalactite over there
[314.8s] You can tell by the guano on it that
[318.4s] Bats like to stay there when they sleep and
[322.3s] So how is that different than the other all those other stalactites that also?
[328.4s] Had the bat guano is that yes. This tour is very guano based. I'm noticing
[333.7s] Yeah, well, you got to know where get ready to get the good guano
[337.7s] So that you know if you need to hide down here, you can look like a piece of shit and not get noticed
[344.5s] Should I be writing this down mood? It's in your hand, but you'll see
[364.3s] I see some branding some like hand cream
[368.2s] Yeah, it's good. It's good gives you nice supple skin look
[372.1s] I don't have many wrinkles and why do you think I don't do you sell that t-shirt back at the store?
[378.9s] No, but if you make it before me, I'll kill you takes this branding very seriously. That's right
[384.2s] I should it be like one that says like I don't look like shit. It's just the guano. Yeah, that's good
[391.7s] Okay, you're gonna go far in this business. I'm telling you flanks. Thanks, sir, or perhaps. It's a product placement guano
[398.7s] Blend in by looking like shit. Yeah guano. You didn't the further you go into the underdark
[410.6s] Don't advertise that
[413.7s] Right in check that we cannot catch the jokes might get a little deeper but not much better
[423.1s] Quick Russ interrupt us
[425.3s] The further you go into the underdark the it's gonna sound silly but it's gonna get dark darker it gets
[434.2s] That makes you've entered an area where the the bioluminescent materials
[440.5s] seem to have been
[442.5s] eroded or
[444.0s] Like removed due to heavy traffic
[447.6s] You look up ahead and this cavern that you're in
[451.8s] Funnels to a point and leads down a long hallway
[456.1s] Even those who are so inclined to see better than others in the dark have trouble seeing down to the end of this
[464.2s] hallway, all right
[466.5s] Right this way hold on flanks goes through his pack and pulls out a torch
[474.9s] Ah
[476.7s] Yeah, it's good another that bio light and it's gone, you know, I
[482.4s] Kind of just get a feel for it. My feet feel it out
[485.6s] I gotta take the shoes off a little while ago and oh your barefoot. Oh, yeah
[490.2s] You get a real feel for the underdark with these toes
[493.2s] Flanks lights the torch. I said take your shoes off kid. I'm sorry good
[499.6s] Don't forget you're getting paid to be here
[501.6s] You follow the code but he's a cobalt so I think you just like had like bread bags
[511.2s] I don't understand the shoe mechanics
[518.1s] Special order
[520.1s] Yeah, the benefits didn't quite cover the whole thing
[523.0s] Yeah
[523.5s] I never do japs and flanks with torch and no shoes in hand
[528.1s] Lead the way down this tunnel leaving the four of you back just a just a hair
[533.5s] In order to have any conversation you might want to have well, we're still alive. So
[541.5s] That's
[542.9s] Something yes, and
[545.5s] At least it feels like we are going
[549.1s] Deeper so we're going the right direction. We got away from those gnolls
[555.3s] So I mean maybe all the other tour guides would have been
[560.7s] even stranger and had a bushier eyebrows and never wore shoes you follow behind japs and flanks and
[572.1s] This tunnel narrows so much so that you're going single file
[578.2s] You hear
[580.6s] the scurrying of
[585.4s] What could be rodents down at your feet
[588.3s] like bugs
[590.0s] spiders
[591.3s] moving along the ceiling and there's this it's
[595.2s] Deathly silent except for all of these over accentuated
[600.2s] Noises coming from whatever wildlife is is existing in this space
[607.5s] You hear japes mumbling up ahead
[610.3s] Yes
[612.6s] No, and that one's furry and the echo that's reverberating down this this tunnel
[619.2s] dampens as he enters into this wide open chamber that is
[626.1s] Completely dark as flanks follows in behind him the light from his torch disappears before you
[634.7s] Four of you
[636.3s] stop
[637.5s] to evaluate before proceeding forward I
[641.3s] Take my mace out and see if the light from it
[645.6s] penetrates his darkness
[647.2s] It begins to illuminate and then it shone shone's on the walls and you can see
[653.3s] Like bugs scurrying back into holes and everything disappearing
[656.6s] but then it's like there's this wall of blackness before you and it if it was reflective you feel like it would
[663.7s] Reflect the same as the walls around you back to you
[666.2s] But it's like it eats the light. Do you hear them? Mike? I can't see them anymore. I don't I don't particularly love
[674.3s] this
[675.7s] should we
[677.1s] form a
[678.3s] Chain, I don't
[682.2s] Does that sound silly but if we join hands we would
[686.1s] Be together
[688.4s] We would yes, we would be at least not separated much like planks and japs
[694.0s] God rest their souls wherever they are beyond this dark void. Oh
[700.6s] Blanks japs are they are it are they I don't I don't hear them. Oh
[710.5s] Oh
[711.3s] And I will put the mace away and and take out the daggers
[715.3s] That I that I got when we were shopping we talked about this right before we started recording trying to figure out what it was
[722.5s] They glow as they get closer together in case we lost each other in the dark
[726.9s] So we would could use them like way finders to find out. Yes. Okay. That's what it was. Yep. Thank you
[733.4s] It was yes, we're together
[744.1s] Amazing yeah all four useful. I mean Arvid pulls his out. Yeah. Yeah Lex as well. Yeah
[751.0s] Yeah, Margaret will hold both her hands out
[755.0s] Let's give it a shot
[757.0s] the four of you proceed forward Margaret in the lead everybody else following behind daggers glowing and as you
[764.6s] Step to and then through this darkness
[771.0s] Everything kind of just shunts around you sound is gone
[775.8s] Any
[777.6s] Visuals that you have are gone. You can still feel the hand of the person behind you
[783.3s] Who is?
[784.9s] Sweaty I feel like Lex is probably at the back. Okay, Lex is at the back
[790.0s] So we'll say I'll take maybe Perseus then Arvid. Okay. Okay, who is Perseus?
[796.9s] Who could be sweaty Lex wouldn't have been sweaty so that that would have been a clarification
[801.2s] Just a more of sort of generally clammy at all times, yeah
[806.7s] And everybody else as you step forward and through you see like there's it's like it's almost like walking through
[813.6s] Putting your hand through murky water like it you lose all visual of it
[819.5s] Margaret make and
[823.6s] It's
[825.5s] Spooky in here, it's real scary make us check. I mean
[832.3s] But make a perception check at
[835.9s] Disadvantage I have advantage normally. Okay. Yeah
[848.2s] For all your good rolling needs yeah, so 27
[853.4s] As you step into this you
[855.9s] in your years of
[858.3s] Monster hunting take a moment and just kind of hold
[862.3s] Perseus back as you try and get any sense of what you're feeling and seeing and
[869.7s] Although you can't see anything you you feel
[876.6s] Minor
[879.1s] Vibrations coming from the air around you like it's these clicking noises that are
[886.3s] Distant at this point
[889.0s] Where you are?
[891.2s] If you proceed forward
[894.6s] The clicking even as you take a couple steps like the clicking becomes erratic and
[900.4s] As you stop moving it slows
[904.7s] Does this sound
[906.9s] Like anything that I have encountered before as you take a few steps just trying to to gauge without
[914.0s] Going too far as to potentially run into something you get a feeling that it is it sounds like
[921.6s] some sort of undead creature or creatures and a lot of them
[928.9s] Who are
[930.9s] more
[932.4s] stationary
[934.0s] just kind of like
[935.7s] Muscle twitches and bone cracks
[942.0s] Oh boy
[945.5s] Like we can't go back
[948.8s] One because I guess we don't exactly even know where back is I mean
[952.8s] We'll say that I mean yes, it would be skewed
[956.2s] So you might not be able to make it back or anyway, but you walked in a straight line, right? So
[962.7s] Perception in the dark perception in the dark would be skewed
[965.3s] So yeah, you're right would have to turn a complete 180 and be pointing the exact same way
[971.7s] we can kind of feel that we're in a big space, but visually and
[977.8s] Even kind of what we hear it's yeah, you can't see this you you and you specifically are hearing this
[985.0s] Just I'm giving you that because of your super monster hunting
[989.5s] And
[990.6s] Experience that your character has like knowing that it seems like we're supposed to go through here to try and get
[997.2s] To wherever we're going next
[1000.1s] I don't think I can do anything except
[1004.3s] Try to use that clicking sound as a like, okay, I'm gonna go a little this way now and try to navigate between
[1013.1s] The clicking it's like a reverse
[1015.8s] Echolocation yeah, yeah, I like it
[1023.7s] Russ I'm assuming that this total darkness that we are in counts as total cover
[1030.6s] because if not I have divine sense and
[1034.3s] I can detect undead within 60 feet. Oh, you're you're but
[1041.6s] You're detecting all over the place your Geiger counters
[1044.9s] That's what's making the clicking
[1050.1s] That's what it is, but yeah, so okay, so yeah Margaret you sense
[1055.6s] All around you which you can equate to
[1060.2s] Closest equation is is some sort of undead
[1063.9s] More surrounding you the further you go in Lex as you step into this darkness like yeah your your sense of
[1071.8s] Undead is
[1073.4s] Just through the roof, right?
[1076.4s] Do you want to do anything or attempt to do anything with that you as we described it in terms of walking order?
[1083.1s] You are holding Arvid's hand. I don't know cuz I think right now
[1090.2s] Like being as silent as possible is the best
[1094.8s] Option rather than yelling guys is undead
[1102.2s] Scatter they can't get us all
[1105.9s] Okay
[1107.6s] You all proceed forward with Margaret leading Margaret roll me a
[1114.7s] joint
[1118.0s] I'll let you pick here either
[1122.2s] insight
[1124.3s] Going off of
[1126.0s] where you're sensing all of
[1128.8s] Where like the sounds are coming from and trying to locate those as you're getting closer or farther from them or
[1139.4s] Perception yeah
[1141.8s] perception if it's
[1144.0s] listening very closely to get a gauge of how close those clicks are and then finding
[1149.6s] The direction where it's a little quieter because basically trying to
[1154.2s] Walk around
[1156.0s] Okay, this is like that Mario Party one where you try not to step on all the banana peels
[1160.7s] But the banana peels are undead
[1163.2s] Exactly. That's the one that
[1165.9s] 22
[1169.0s] Margaret begins to move forward and is listening to these sounds and like we can
[1174.3s] you know from the cameras point of view like we're we're we're spinning around and swirling around all four of you and
[1182.2s] Margaret you're sensing as you get closer and using your
[1190.6s] Hand on Perseus to kind of signal as you're turning Perseus roll an insight
[1196.4s] That is a 17 you definitely sense that Margaret senses something based on the the pulses in hers in her squeeze
[1204.2s] And is guiding you through and you're able to to pass down the line as well
[1210.7s] You're weaving in and out of these noises that are getting louder and quieter like it's almost to the point where you feel like
[1220.5s] Like something brush up against just the edge of like a sleeve that you have
[1227.9s] Until you get
[1230.0s] You've been walking for what I presume is very slowly
[1234.6s] for several minutes and
[1236.9s] And then you hear this this pulse
[1245.6s] In this darkness around you you hear like a
[1250.7s] Crackling and almost like this sucking noise as it pulls in towards you
[1257.3s] From the outside looking in it pulls in towards you until the room is clear
[1263.5s] And you are in the middle of this
[1268.6s] Almost military line of this room of complete of undead of
[1275.1s] mangled monsters of pieced together beings
[1279.8s] Who are all standing at all
[1283.9s] What could be described as at attention?
[1286.8s] facing one direction towards
[1289.4s] The this this raised dais this raised platform at the end of this cavern
[1296.2s] You're in the middle of this
[1298.0s] There's this clicking of all of these joints is like the the muscles are spasming in and hands are shooting out in different directions
[1305.5s] But they're not moving
[1307.2s] Is there anyone on that raised platform not immediately roll a wisdom saving throw?
[1315.0s] 17 20 dirty 13 Arvid rolled to an 11
[1323.3s] Margaret and Arvid are going to take which isn't on your character sheets
[1331.4s] 12 sanity damage
[1334.9s] Russ looking around at these things now that we're able to kind of see them better like do they resemble
[1341.4s] What Lex is like yes, there are definitely element like yeah
[1345.8s] They are pieced together beings of many other beings most of them
[1351.4s] majority of them humanoid in fact everybody make a
[1356.2s] Perception check
[1358.1s] Margaret and Arvid at disadvantage for 10
[1361.8s] 15
[1363.3s] Everybody sees that they are
[1365.5s] Very similar in that they are pieced together from many different beings and humanoids and and perhaps even other
[1374.5s] creatures, but Lex you specifically notice that the the facial construction of them is all
[1382.3s] Very similar not not to yourself. Just be clear about that
[1388.5s] but all very similar to one another and
[1392.9s] Even looking at them like the build is
[1397.7s] Almost to a design point very similar to one another
[1404.2s] The the the parts maybe have to been taken from many different
[1410.4s] creatures or beings but the size of them is all
[1415.3s] Like almost cookie cutter do they seem to be?
[1418.5s] Creatures of the underdark piece together or like not necessarily the gangs all here. Okay, the gangs all here
[1425.9s] Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of more humanoid and even human
[1430.5s] Probably majority is human or humanoid and how many are there you are in a cavern that is
[1439.6s] Let's place it at
[1441.6s] 200 to 250 feet across on all sides and they are all in lines
[1450.7s] Standing at attention and are they nude? No
[1454.8s] Great question
[1457.3s] No, they all appear to be in
[1460.4s] Damaged or not great condition, but they all appear to be an armor and have weapons
[1466.4s] swords axes maces
[1468.5s] Degrees it looks like we've we've found someone's
[1473.8s] Army. Yes, isn't that what we were afraid?
[1477.9s] Was being built and we've also lost our guides
[1483.2s] looking back
[1484.8s] At like the door that we came in. Yeah, does it exist? Is there like a film over it?
[1491.3s] No, it does exist. Like there's a
[1493.6s] I
[1494.9s] Think there's no real light coming from it, but there is you can see where you came in
[1502.0s] You would place yourself probably pretty close to the middle of the room
[1506.9s] Maybe a little bit back from middle so closer to the tunnel, but still
[1511.9s] 150 to 175 feet out and the only other way out of this room is that is the dais?
[1517.3s] Yeah, there's a raised platform
[1519.6s] Which you can't quite see all the way back but yeah, that's the only egress that you can tell are
[1526.3s] the tunnel you came in or
[1529.4s] What's up there?
[1531.7s] Well, I suppose the only way is
[1534.7s] forward
[1536.2s] Right Arvid Marcius Margaret. I don't
[1540.8s] We know what's back there. It's many many
[1544.0s] gnolls who
[1545.6s] Truly dislike us. Yeah, they were not fans
[1549.6s] No
[1551.0s] so
[1552.4s] it seems we have a
[1555.6s] Moment here and I'd like to get away from this army
[1562.7s] Before they decide to wake up
[1565.3s] Yes
[1566.3s] Yeah
[1566.8s] I'm with you Lex like always is there stairs up to the platform or am I going to awkwardly try and jump?
[1574.8s] Like I did in the stage in high school when I was like getting up on the thing and then you like kind of can
[1580.2s] Get up, but you forget you're short and then you're just kind of like roll on to it
[1584.8s] Anybody else yo every day. That's right. I imagined it like a
[1590.4s] Mahin dais
[1594.9s] Yeah, I don't know
[1600.0s] Steps up there
[1604.7s] And then like
[1608.4s] Yeah, yeah, I like that one that's a door that's what I had written down every time we say door in D&D
[1614.2s] I am like it is a drywall door. That thing is
[1618.5s] Golden knob you have to turn it to lock it. There's this one door jam just in the middle
[1624.0s] So my brain does okay?
[1626.3s] before of you looking around
[1629.3s] evaluating your circumstance
[1631.5s] Begin to go forward towards the the dais and
[1636.5s] As you begin to move forwards, and you get another 50 feet
[1641.6s] there's this crackle of energy above you and
[1646.3s] You look up and you see two swirling portals and out of them drop tied to chains are
[1654.0s] japes and flanks
[1657.4s] Are we gagged I'm gagged nice
[1661.8s] Japes is gagged by him by himself
[1665.4s] One of his socks is off. It's in his mouth
[1671.6s] The whole like I can fit my fist into my mouth and like no you can not
[1675.6s] I can here's where we're at for you to you walked into the darkness, and you were like vacuum sucked
[1684.5s] Pneumatic tubes yeah
[1686.6s] tubes okay, so you two are dangling from these portals
[1690.8s] Midway above
[1692.4s] By chains, there's this swirling purple black energy above you as
[1698.0s] That happens like it reverberates through the room and the clicks from all of the undead around you begin to increase in
[1705.2s] frequency and they are almost
[1707.2s] Pulsing with the energy and the sound that's flowing through the building
[1712.0s] To the building fuck like this is a warehouse
[1715.9s] Cavern and
[1718.4s] As you stop and look at that you hear just like this slow clap
[1722.9s] Begin from the far side where you were walking forward to guys
[1727.5s] It's almost never happens, and if this could baby not reflect on your review of the company that would be great
[1735.1s] Please please be shush
[1737.1s] I
[1741.1s] Know what he said slow clapping begins, and it gets louder and louder has you are
[1748.9s] Stopped I presume unless unless you don't want to stop you tell me what you want to do well. I mean if that's a
[1756.3s] Clicking and popping of all the weird
[1759.2s] Frankenstein monsters are getting worse like I would think we'd be moving quicker if anything
[1764.0s] Are they gonna start pop and lock in yeah?
[1767.2s] So long as they try wouldn't it be cool. Just turns in your just electric slide
[1773.4s] You're actually part of a flash
[1777.5s] There but you're there now it's worse than an undead
[1785.2s] Yeah, no I agree I think yeah just
[1790.1s] the sounds increasing would like increase the speed of
[1794.5s] Even though we're walking towards some asshole that's slow clapping
[1800.2s] Guys we're gonna need to we got to get out of here. We got to move quicker
[1804.8s] But I know I know there's but let's just go for it. We need to move
[1808.4s] I don't want to be stuck right in the middle here if they
[1811.5s] reanimate
[1812.9s] Four of you begin to run as quickly and as as nimbly as you can trying not to bump any of the undead
[1820.2s] that are just
[1822.7s] Sporadically like shooting out an arm in front of you and you're ducking below them
[1826.5s] And you get up near the front and as this clapping gets louder like you're losing
[1831.1s] perspective as this person is walking forward or this individual is walking forward as
[1836.0s] This person as this individual steps into view this long
[1840.8s] white blonde hair is like it's being blown by fans and
[1847.5s] They have this dark
[1849.5s] Purple ebony skin as they are clapping and
[1854.9s] Smiling down towards you when they say
[1858.3s] lax
[1862.2s] My goodness, it's been so long
[1867.0s] and
[1868.4s] My vision that I saw like I recognized this person
[1872.3s] Okay, the instant you see them
[1874.3s] They are the one who came in being carried by undead floating into the room to murder Nick real
[1887.1s] That's how we're starting that's a great start
[1890.1s] That's it just as exasperated we're here welcome to the middle everybody
[1896.6s] We'll break from the action for you
[1898.5s] It was a whole it was a whole wild session that we just recorded which wasn't the session that you're listening to you
[1903.6s] But this one is also a wild session
[1906.0s] But look forward to that because whoo boy epic coming your way
[1911.5s] What also is epic is we are doing a live show for our patrons when you join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[1919.3s] We hit 90 patrons so for that goal. We're gonna do a live streamed improv show
[1925.3s] Where we take suggestions and build the build the session and and world that we're in and play the characters through
[1931.9s] Whatever you want us to hear so if you want to be at that
[1936.9s] That's not a thing
[1938.9s] You want to hear if you want to be at that no no
[1942.8s] Whatever you want us to hear is what I said no whatever you want to hear or whatever you want us to say
[1948.8s] You know because you give us a suggestion
[1953.0s] During the improv so yeah that makes more sense
[1956.3s] But join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast on or before March 30th
[1961.4s] To get your invite to that live show
[1964.5s] So if you are a patron you can check your email that you subscribe to Patreon in
[1969.6s] You should have a calendar invite. That's that's waiting there for you to click. Yes
[1974.8s] Attending yeah to click that yes smash the button. There's no no or maybe click the yes, maybe is wishy-washy
[1981.4s] Definitely not a maybe yeah like
[1985.5s] But I mean like say yes, yeah, it's gonna be great the last ones we did were great
[1991.2s] I mean, I think I can safely say we have literally no idea. What's going to happen
[1996.7s] Yeah, but that's I mean most the times when we play that's like every record session to the hundred percent
[2002.0s] But this time people will be witnessing it live. They might think it's like we put it on
[2007.0s] They'll see us process everything in real time and be like oh, no. This is what it's like
[2012.7s] Editing does rust do a lot folks a lot there there really was only three bullet points for those episodes
[2019.5s] It's wild and one was sexy goblins always is you never know when that sexy goblins gonna pop back out, baby
[2027.3s] So join us today at Patreon.com
[2029.9s] Slash dumb dragon cast live shows baby get back to the show
[2037.0s] Legs it's it's Prim's bottom. Oh, I know
[2041.8s] I've been hoping to meet you. We've met before but it's so good to see you again
[2046.8s] The memory the memory yes, I've been hoping to meet you when I knew yeah, that was
[2055.2s] What you are ah
[2057.8s] Thelonious Prim's Bane pleasure to meet you
[2059.6s] I'm here to bring death and destruction for the sole purpose of just I'm bored down here in the underdark
[2068.1s] Really, I kind of piggybacked off of some other things happening, but you don't know about those
[2073.4s] So murder of Nick a real murder probably of all these creatures, that's not enough no
[2079.7s] Yeah, Nick a real Nick a real Nick a real was a victim of circumstance see Vic
[2085.4s] brought Nick a real in on the ground floor of this whole
[2090.2s] Organization that I have as you look around here. You see an image
[2096.5s] One of my dear dear friends
[2098.7s] Leon in glory jam
[2101.3s] Brought them into the organization also at the ground floor because they had just the physique that I was looking for
[2107.2s] Nick a real had the power Nick a real had the the abilities
[2112.4s] You know combined with my just garish good looks and excellent charm and ability to get
[2121.0s] And sorry pure disgusting evil
[2123.9s] Well, it's all in the eye of the beholder we have one of those two hiding somewhere around here, but uh, that's neither here nor there
[2133.2s] It's so good of you to come home and bring me
[2137.0s] new subjects
[2138.5s] No, what we've brought is
[2143.8s] Death and the end of you
[2146.5s] Is sort of more
[2148.4s] What we were thinking and all of you just given the circumstance
[2152.7s] And he looks to the rest of the group here and even up to flanks and japes all of you feel the same
[2158.4s] That this is a winning scenario
[2161.8s] for you
[2163.5s] Well, you do have an undead army, but if we can kill you I suppose that's enough to keep them immobile
[2171.9s] Mm-hmm
[2174.9s] Mm-hmm
[2178.0s] Right I should mention the two from the ceiling really
[2183.2s] They seem to be the master employees I don't want to
[2188.0s] This isn't they triggered the initial trap that I was hoping was for you because we saw you coming and then
[2194.5s] But they were I don't I don't agree with the health and safety conditions employees are put in by
[2201.5s] Take you away or come away with me or your safety is our number one priority
[2209.0s] That's right. Oh, you got your fist out. Yeah. Yeah, it
[2213.3s] Kind of my jaw dropped when I saw how what an amazing army
[2218.2s] You've got down here and for you fine for we've we've delivered you to where you need to be. Yes. Yes, you should
[2225.7s] return
[2226.9s] To your storefront. Yes head home
[2229.8s] unharmed and
[2231.4s] Undamaged Oh right primsbane. They will just they will just they will just leave this place
[2238.4s] unharmed and undamaged
[2240.2s] Sure, he snaps his fingers and the chains suck up into the portals
[2246.0s] clothes and
[2247.7s] They're gone as I get sucked up a bag drops
[2253.6s] From my like how big is this bag?
[2257.4s] um
[2258.6s] Yay
[2260.3s] Yay, surprise. Okay, I was guys surprise. I like bag a holding situation
[2268.4s] More of a satchel. Yeah, okay. Got it. Okay, it it just falls. Nothing. Nothing happens to it
[2275.5s] I don't know what you put into this bag. So I know but
[2279.1s] Player knowledge character. No, I know that's Ross. That's that's fine
[2283.2s] It's awfully shiny though
[2285.9s] Very gemmy the bag is shiny bag the dazzled bag. I love it. Yeah
[2293.0s] Flanks releases a bedazzled bag. You hear the scream it falls to the ground
[2299.6s] And you hear it like bounce off of one of these undead who begins to snarl
[2306.9s] Primsbane snaps his fingers again and it stops and the clicking comes back. I
[2312.2s] Don't know what that was but
[2318.8s] They're gone they've they've left
[2322.5s] Totally unharmed as previously arranged
[2326.1s] So what's the next move?
[2328.2s] As he asked that question, I want to cast misty step to the location of the bag and go grab it
[2335.1s] Okay, what is misty? Yeah remind to me remind to me remind to me
[2342.2s] I am briefly surrounded by silvery mist and I teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space that I could see
[2348.7s] He he's he asked that new
[2352.2s] Mist kind of envelopes you and you appear
[2355.8s] Right at the bag
[2357.3s] What's in the bag?
[2359.5s] You want to know what's in the bag? What's in the bag reaches down picks it up and opens it our receipt
[2366.1s] And
[2369.2s] A comment card for us to fill out bag 39.99
[2377.9s] Okay, so well, I mean this has got to be care every player knowledge because there's no way for character to know this
[2387.0s] This is the bag of devouring it is capable of killing an unsuspecting party
[2395.8s] It takes the shape of a bag of holding
[2399.4s] Hiding its malicious nature like a wolf in sheep's clothing. But once the player reaches into the bag
[2405.9s] There's a 50% chance that they're pulled inside
[2412.5s] Any creature who starts their turn inside the bag is instantly and entirely devoured
[2419.4s] Other players may attempt to pull people inside of the bag out
[2424.6s] But first they must avoid being pulled in themselves and second. They must beat a DC 20 strength check yummy
[2439.7s] Just open you didn't say you reached any just said he opened it and looked inside
[2443.4s] So don't let this knowledge sway what you do with the bag
[2448.0s] I was hoping Thelonious would have
[2455.9s] Case era, okay, we all say sometimes
[2460.5s] No, it's it's the bag of devouring. I know what the bag excuse you. I'm not gonna look at all your other stuff
[2465.8s] That's right. I've been texting with Kyle
[2469.0s] That's right secret stuff
[2472.0s] Obviously we can do now that we're dead in a
[2475.2s] Somewhere no return
[2481.5s] Your last words as you were pulled through the portal was it's all blades in here
[2492.5s] Perseus you grab it. It has like the this intricate was it's it's bedazzled
[2499.6s] It's completely bedazzled it has like this almost face bedazzled into it
[2505.0s] You open it up and you look inside and it looks like this black void
[2511.0s] Make a an arcana check. I've got a great arcana bonus y'all. That is a 27
[2521.0s] Okay, you know
[2523.3s] Or get a strong sense that this is a bag with an extra dimensional plane
[2529.1s] built within it or
[2531.5s] Crafted within it being as it previously hit one of the undead things that was it was next to
[2540.1s] Can I like?
[2543.1s] Put it over said undead things head see what happens. Yes, you're still surrounded in miss
[2551.1s] Stepping around making shit in an instant. This is happening. So misty step
[2556.1s] You pick it up you look at it and Thelonious is kind of just observing what's happening as you you
[2563.4s] evaluate that this this could possibly be a bag of holding and you put it on top of
[2568.9s] The head of one immediately beside you
[2572.7s] Roll me a d20
[2574.9s] High it doesn't take it away low
[2578.5s] It does take it away ten these teeth begin to form around the edge of it and it begins to chomp down on
[2585.0s] this this zombie creature and swallow it whole as like this clicking and and
[2591.6s] groaning and
[2593.0s] Trashing begins to happen around this
[2596.0s] Until it's completely gone, which is no more than a couple seconds
[2600.8s] And the bag lies on the ground beside you does it comically burp afterwards?
[2606.2s] Yes
[2608.2s] I'm so satisfied right now
[2610.7s] Well, that was fun
[2612.5s] Is that how you're gonna get them all?
[2615.3s] Gotta catch them all in your back. I
[2621.6s] Mean I could just go like this
[2625.1s] He snaps and a zombie right beside Margaret begins to turn and
[2631.8s] Throws out its arms and then he snaps again and it stops holding its place. I could do that
[2637.7s] This is a fun game
[2639.7s] You decide what you want to do and then I activate all the dead know the dead done dead. It's just great
[2646.0s] I think that
[2649.2s] Or you could let me take your friends back to my place
[2655.6s] Turn them into
[2658.3s] helpers and
[2660.6s] You come take your place here, which is where you were supposed to be. I mean he was giving you sentience
[2666.6s] He was giving you memory you were supposed to be mine
[2670.6s] I
[2671.5s] Think I'm gonna try and shoot an arrow at him actually across Bobo cuz that's what I have is across bow go for it
[2679.1s] It's not gonna work guys, but he's really pissing me off
[2682.5s] Let those emotions run free
[2684.8s] 16
[2686.9s] 16 will hit well, that's a terrible rule. That was a four
[2692.5s] You can do a thing where I can give him there. It is
[2697.3s] divine smite
[2700.7s] He is going to
[2703.0s] Get an extra 2d8 radiant damage plus 1d8
[2709.5s] That let's just say like 4d8. Sure. Love it 12d8. Let's do
[2717.3s] Like per level
[2721.5s] So 12 plus 5 is 17 plus 5 is
[2727.4s] 22
[2730.4s] Radiant damage
[2732.4s] In like a flash like over the heads of everybody else this this crossbow just quickly
[2739.2s] zips towards Thelonious and impales in his
[2744.4s] I won't give you a kill shot. Where do you want to hit him? I wish I could remember what he did to
[2750.8s] Make a reel, but let's just be honest. I'm gonna all I want to do is hit him
[2755.0s] So I'm aiming for like the mass of his body. So sure
[2759.3s] You hit him like in the in the chest and the ribs they often to the left and he he crumples
[2775.2s] And like snaps it off
[2785.0s] Why
[2790.3s] Why I mean I
[2792.8s] What why why why why why I
[2798.3s] Brought you into this world. I could take you out. I'm gonna try and hit him with another one
[2805.9s] Oh, no, that's a nothing 17 he's prepared on this one. Yeah, and a shield goes up around him
[2815.1s] In this huge dome and it glances off and shoots off into the into the distance and he turns and you see him
[2822.9s] Throw his arms up into the air
[2825.3s] like looking back down the catwalk away from
[2829.6s] And you see another figure walk out a
[2833.9s] Larger imposing dragonborn come out carrying this this long staff
[2840.3s] It's kind of swinging it around like a baseball bat
[2845.9s] It's probably not good. Did you name it Lucille walks through and into
[2851.5s] He walks through and into this dome. You don't hear anything that's happening
[2857.4s] But you see them conversing inside
[2861.0s] What do you what do you three do
[2863.1s] What do you three do
[2864.9s] For do it's Thelonious is clearly throwing a temper tantrum to whoever this other figure is
[2872.5s] I think still approaching like at least for Lex right now. That's
[2879.4s] They're just having kind of a one-track mind like
[2882.9s] This is the MF er that killed my daddy. So I don't like you
[2889.0s] So just advancing as I can because obviously my best weapon is not my crossbow I want to get
[2897.0s] up up close
[2899.4s] Perseus is trying to cut a swath through these guys with the bag of devouring
[2906.5s] Okay
[2907.8s] and Margaret
[2909.5s] yeah, I
[2910.8s] Put away the dagger and get out the mace in the shield and just shoulder to shoulder
[2915.5s] Well, not really shoulder shoulder shoulder to thigh
[2919.6s] Okay, and I get Arvid Arvid's following him behind
[2923.1s] Just making sure that nothing begins to move behind you as you're moving forward and as you get closer
[2929.6s] you you you see you begin to climb up this dais and you see Thelonious turn around and his eyes have gone from a
[2940.0s] Like a milky white to a deep black
[2943.6s] And everybody make a dexterity saving throw as like this heat energy begins to form
[2956.2s] 16
[2957.3s] 14 as
[2958.8s] you're climbing up this dais you feel like this is this heat energy forming beneath you and
[2965.8s] And
[2967.2s] Thelonious turns and his eyes are completely black and then there's like this
[2971.9s] this flame
[2973.6s] Radiance coming from him as he screams
[2976.1s] But you don't hear anything because of the shield that he's put up around him and this other this other figure and this fireball
[2983.0s] erupts blowing out the stone of the dais and blowing
[2989.4s] Lex and Arvid off and back into the mass of the army
[2995.4s] who begin clicking and throwing themselves into like these fits of rage and
[3002.1s] groaning as you fall onto your back and take 46 fire damage
[3008.4s] Margaret you're gonna take half of that. You don't get blown off the dais, but you are kind of resting on top of it
[3015.5s] And Lex also only takes half
[3018.6s] Because of the ring that Margaret gave her so long ago. I take half of Lex's damage
[3025.8s] Son of a bitch, right? Yeah
[3030.4s] Rev play in the game
[3035.9s] Thelonious's scream begins to echo out as the shield around him waivers this fireball
[3041.0s] erupting and creating heat throughout the entire space and with an echoing crack
[3047.4s] Thelonious throws his hands together and every single undead creature along the floor of this cavern
[3055.4s] begins to move towards
[3066.6s] Dumbgeons and Dragons season 2 episode
[3069.8s] 116 starring Karla Max dead as Lex Tom Laird as Perseus
[3073.9s] Amy More as flanks with Kyle Claset as JAPES rev to Shane as Margaret broadcloak and Russ more as your dungeon master
[3081.5s] Editing production and sound design by Russ More this episode featured music from epidemic sound and sound effects from epidemic sound boom
[3088.8s] Library and sound ideas a huge. Thank you to our supporting producers Gabriel Lynch
[3093.4s] Jessica Babyok cat water flame Jacob Madden Christian Brown Devin Michaels Craig Zeiss Aaron Stevens
[3100.0s] Daryleth Lulahan
[3101.3s] Charlie Warley and LA Branton to support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions and get access to an exclusive
[3107.7s] Podcast called the adventures of bonus episodes and much more
[3111.1s] Please join our Patreon at Patreon.com
[3113.9s] Slash dumb dragon cast join us on or before March 30th
[3117.8s] 2020 to join us for an improvised live show exclusive to patrons have a great week. We'll talk again soon
[3127.2s] We cut to a chamber just off the back of the dais and we see a different perspective we see
[3133.9s] The figure inside of the dome and felonious his face who's
[3139.5s] arguing and screaming at him and then we see
[3142.4s] Flanks and JAPES who are bound by the chains just off the cavern
[3147.6s] What are these two fucking arguing about back here? They're saying a lot of shit about undead and taking over the world
[3153.2s] I don't fucking get do you think they figured out how to use that fucking bag?
[3156.1s] I don't know. I really hope so. I was only about 50% sure to use it myself. Maybe they need adventuring guides
[3162.4s] Maybe they're on their own adventure and we can guide them wherever they're headed
[3167.2s] Well, you got a you got to work on your pitch kids. So batter up
[3172.6s] Because that one was carrying a baseball bat thing. So, you know, I thought it was a shot at my voice
[3179.0s] My mom said I'll leave it out. No, no, I mean we kind of have almost a similar voice really
[3184.9s] Yeah, so do I get to go through an older person be ready at some point?
[3191.2s] Yeah, it kind of happens towards the tail end of things, but you'll get there maybe what do you mean?
[3196.6s] Maybe I you'd have to ask the other five whenever you get to where they went
[3203.6s] Everybody tells too tight you guys
[3208.2s] It's getting serious it's getting serious I'm loosening my ponytail I don't plan that far
[3215.4s] He doesn't know what's making the click
[3220.4s] Deal
[3224.8s] Somebody did some slam poetry somewhere and everyone just like Jetson the Sharks pop out Perseus rolling in sight
[3244.1s] Time that better if I tried
[3246.4s] That's great these are my own feelings and facial expressions Russell you don't need to interrupt your diet try to react to my reaction
[3256.2s] Sorry
[3257.8s] Let me hide self
[3264.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production